Ronald Rolheiser

Review: Insane for the Light

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Cover image of "Insane for the Light" by Ronald Rolheiser

Insane for the Light, Ronald Rolheiser. Image (ISBN: 9780593736463) 2025.

Summary: The spiritual journey of our final years, learning not only how to relinquish one’s life but to give away one’s death.

On Saturday, I learned of the passing of an actor whose movies I watched as a young adult. She was eight years older than I am. This is not an uncommon experience when I read of the deaths of famous people, or the obituary page from my high school on Facebook. It reminds me that part of the business of this stage of my life is to live with intention and attention toward my death. How does God want to continue to form me in the way of Christ as my bodily and mental powers wane? And how may I live so that my life, and even my death, may be a gift to those I love?

There are not many guides for this journey. Many of the books about spirituality address our productive years and the transitions of midlife. But what about the years of autumn and winter? In recent years, I’ve come to appreciate the writing of Ronald Rolheiser in his books The Holy Longing and Sacred Fire. I discovered that this new book, Insane for the Light completes this trilogy. In the first, Rolheiser writes about our search for meaning. Then in the second, he speaks to how we give our lives away. Now, in an interesting turn of phrase, he writes about how we give our deaths away. Rolheiser observes:

“Giving our deaths away as a gift to our loved ones means that at some point in our lives, we need to stop focusing on our agenda and begin to focus on our obituary, on what kind of spirit we will leave behind.”

But what does that look like?

Rolheiser begins with anthropologies from aging, considering voices as diverse as Hindu mythology’s sannyasin to Germain Greer’s crone, Richard Rohr’s angry or holy old fools, and David Brooks’ call to scale the second mountain of meaning and love. Then he considers the challenge of transformation in aging. Instead of becoming the same person, only more so, he addresses seven transformations, all summarized in Jesus call to metanoia, the change of mind into creatures more like God. More like Christ. In the end, the image of Christ defenseless on the cross, submitting to death and giving his life, is our model. In our death, how we deal with helplessness, the loss of control are crucial. It is the experience of passivity. We may embrace or bitterly fight this, but if embraced, following Jesus in death is lifegiving to others.

But this journey is sometimes a journey through dark nights. Rolheiser draws upon the wisdom of St. john of the Cross’s Dark Night of the Soul. He offers wise counsel for how we live through such nights (pp. 80-82) that is worth the price of the book. He proposes that the purpose of the “dark night” is so that “God can flow into our lives and into this world purely, uncontaminated by human projection and self interest, because in our frustrating darkness we are helpless to control the experience.”

Then Rolheiser turns to the image of the “beggars hut.” In fact, that hut is the aging process. a kind of monastic existence with its own order of tasks. Carrying tension for the young. Offering prophecy to the world. Radiating God’s compassion. Rescuing God from narrowness. Blessing the young. Giving up on fear. Preparing for our move to a place beyond the illusion of self sufficiency. Making peace with those in our circle through the words “Please forgive me,” “I forgive you,” “Thank you,” and “I love you.” Rolheiser synthesizes Henri Nouwen’s ideas of how we give our deaths away into twelve invitations.

In his final chapters Rolheiser addresses his thoughts about the afterlife, including our communion with those who have died. Finally, he outlines St. John of the Cross’s paradigm of spiritual transformation. He includes examples of transformation through prayer and through service. His parting word comes from St. John’s advice:

“We all have made vows: to one another, to God, and to ourselves. John of the Cross simply advises that we stay within these vows and accept the times of disillusionment–and then love, others, maturity, and God will find us,”

It seems to me that the book’s central idea is that our aging is an invitation to die with Christ. What I find most attractive in this is that it suggests that old people can grow! We can be transformed by God through the aging process. We can mellow, become grateful, forgiving, hopeful, and childlike. Then we generously give away the remainder of our lives–and our deaths. And in our dying, we become “insane for the light” of God’s glory. I recall reading of my childhood pastor’s final words: “The glory, the glory!” To read these words was a gift, as is remembering them. He gave his death away to others.

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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher for review.

Review: Chastity and the Soul

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Cover of "Chastity and the Soul" by Ronald Rolheiser

Chastity and the Soul: You Are Holy Ground, Ronald Rolheiser. Paraclete Press (ISBN: 9781640609471) 2024.

Summary: An exploration of the meaning of chastity which has to do with far more than sex.

“Can purity be a word that is ever used without a cringe?”

Father Ronald Rolheiser quotes Lisbeth During asking this question in her book, The Chastity Plot. Rolheiser, in this book that explores the meaning of chastity in Christian teaching, would most emphatically and joyfully answer “yes!” And that despite all the negative connotations, critiques of “purity culture,” and the connotations of prudishness and repressed sexuality with which the culture greets this word.

First of all, Rolheiser defines chastity, and it is clear from his definition that he is talking about far more than sex:

“In essence, chastity is proper reverence, respect, and patience. And in a culture that is often characterized by irreverence, disrespect, and impatience, it is much needed. To be chaste is to experience people, things, places, entertainment, the phases of life, life’s opportunities, and sex, in a way that does not violate them or us. In brief, I am chaste when I relate to others in a way that does not violate their moral, psychological, emotional, sexual, or aesthetic contours. I am chaste when I do not let irreverence or impatience denigrate what is a gift, and when I let life, others, and sex, unfold according to their proper dictates” (p. 4)

But why chastity? It comes down to our understanding of what we and other people are. Rolheiser, using the language of Moses’ burning bush encounter with God says that both we and every person we encounter is holy ground. Any approach that is irreverent, impatient, or that fails to respect the holy character of every human in the image of God is unchaste. I can see how this relates not only to sex but with how we engage with people in any shared endeavor. To disregard the gift of another, to force our way without accounting for another, is unchaste.

Chastity and sex need each other and are not at war with each other. Chastity protects us from misusing the power of our sexuality so that both people may fully be themselves with each other. Chastity, properly understood, doesn’t shut off sexual longing for the other that springs from the God-given reality that it is not good for us to be alone.

Rolheiser challenges those who would separate sex and the soul or even deny the soul. He sees this as the underlying basis for the explosion of “hookup sex” and the explosion of pornography. Yet we all have a sense that deep down, there is a place precious to us, that carries our deepest longings, our sense of self. and in sexual intimacy, we give another access to that place. It’s a place where we want to be protected, honored, and listened to. “Chastity protects the soul.”

Rolheiser goes on to explore the effects of pornography, addresses how we live in tension with our “inconsummation” and how we may learn from Mary and the virgin daughter of Jephthah. He is honest with us that celibacy has been the hardest part of his vows, “but, at the same time, it has helped create a special kind of entry into the world and into other’s lives that is a precious grace….”

He concludes the book with speaking of our need to recover a sense of wonder about our ordinary lives, which in Chesterton’s words involves learning “to look at things familiar until they look unfamiliar again.” It is chastity that protects the wonder of the holy ground that is another human being, the wonder of the holy ground that is us, and the wonder when two who have prepared in the patience of chastity and in the integrity of their vows for the divine fire of sexual intimacy.

This is a book that takes the “cringe” out of chastity. It’s not the mawkishness of chastity rings, of rules especially imposed on women in purity culture. Chastity is not about the evilness or dirtiness of sex but about its powerful goodness and about the holiness of every person in God’s image and ensuring that the powerful goodness never violates the holiness of us or others. This is good instruction not only for those awakening to their sexuality but for us at all ages, and not only for our sexuality but for all the ways we engage with people who are “holy ground.”

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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher for review.

Review: The Holy Longing

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The Holy Longing (Fifteenth Anniversary Edition), Ronald Rolheiser. New York: Image, 2014.

Summary: A discussion of Christian spirituality rooted in an understanding of desire and the incarnation.

I owe the discovery of this book to my sister, who first asked me if I was familiar with the work of Ronald Rolheiser. I’m so glad she asked because it led to the discovery of this work on the nature of Christian spirituality. In it, I discovered a writer able to express profound ideas in clear terms. It reveals to me someone who has lived through to the simplicity on the other side of complexity.

Far from the denial or suppression of desire, Rolheiser recognizes that desire, or eros is a fire within us and central to our spirituality. He expresses it in this way:

“Spirituality is about what we do with the fire inside us, about how we channel our eros. And how we do channel it, the disciplines and habits we choose to live by, will either lead to a greater integration or disintegration within our bodies, minds, and souls, and to a greater integration or disintegration in the way we are related to God, others, and the cosmic world.”

We struggle with imbalance that is rooted in several divorces: between religion and eros, spirituality and ecclesiology, private morality and social justice, the gifted child and the giving adult, and the divorce by contemporary culture of its paternalistic, Christian heritage. In ensuing chapters he will reconcile those divorces, restoring balance. He begins by articulating four essential aspects of Christian spirituality: private prayer and private morality, social justice, mellowness of heart and spirit, and community as a constitutive element of true worship. He contends that these need to operate together and that where one or more is absent, one will have an unbalanced and unhealthy spirituality.

He then comes to one of the most important contributions of the book. He roots our spirituality in the incarnation of Jesus. It is precisely this God in human flesh aspect of Christ that distinguishes a truly Christian from merely theistic (and I might add gnostic) spirituality. It shapes how we allow God to put flesh on our prayers, how we reconcile in families and communities, how we receive God’s guidance through community, and indeed understand the crucial role flesh and blood communities play in our spirituality.

The final part of the book then elaborates various aspects of this incarnational spirituality that channels desire toward life-giving ends, He explores ecclesiology and very practical reasons we need the church. He unpacks the paschal mystery, and how death and resurrection plays itself out in our spiritual journeys. He elaborates on why we need both private morality and social justice. He offers a searching exploration of the connection of our sexuality and spiritualty–actually the disconnect of the unconsummation we all experience even of sexuality at its best and how treating it as a sacred gift, bounding it in marriage, allowing ourselves to be formed in marriage and parenting, and guarding the gift in chastity allows us to live in a creative and transformative tension.

His final chapter concerns spirituality for the long haul. He offers several commandments:

  1. Be a mystic, cultivating the life of prayer
  2. Sin bravely–that is to honestly bring who we truly are to God rather than to pretend to what we are not.
  3. Gather ritually around the Word and break the bread
  4. Worship and serve the right God–to accept God’s forgiving embrace and His delight in us.

There is a wealth of riches in this work. It is written for the ordinary parishioner and not the spiritual leader, although its probing exploration of desire and living honestly before God speaks powerfully to the “professionally” religious. Finally, it focuses us neither on a list of practices, though these follow, but on Jesus, our Incarnate Lord and what it means to live incarnationally–as desiring human beings following Jesus. This is a book to which I want to return.