Author: rtrube54

Is This the End of Reading?

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opened-book-on-top-of-table
Photo by Shawn Reza on Pexels.com

I’m borrowing my title from an article (paywalled) published on May 9 in the Chronicle of Higher Education under the same title. The article described the struggle of college professors with students not doing assigned readings, of reducing the number and length of readings without any improvement, and often summarizing readings in class. They noted declines in ability to follow a longform, complex argument, and fragmented and distracted thinking. This has been found to be accompanied by declines in writing ability (a 750 word essay being too long–ironic because this post will likely surpass that), and difficulties with notetaking if not structured by the professor.

The article explored various factors contributing to such decline:

  • Inadequate reading instruction going back to primary education.
  • Standardized test-oriented instruction, focused on close reading of short passages.
  • COVID related declines due to relaxed requirements and isolation from good instruction (although these declines were being noted pre-COVID–and have only accelerated)
  • Lack of leisure reading among teens.
  • Smartphone use and social media, where reading comes in fragments and rapid scanning..
  • Preference for information through audio-visual sources, often attended to while multi-tasking.

The upshot is either dumbed-down instruction or remedial efforts to teach reading, sometimes incorporated into instruction.

It is scary to think of the possibility that we are turning out functionally illiterate high school graduates and marginally literate college graduates without the habits equipping them to be lifelong learners. Yet it is disturbing to me that many state legislatures seem more concerned with what students should not be reading and what should not be on library shelves than the fact that students are not reading!

A few things seem vitally important:

  • Reading skills seem foundational. The article raises the use of whole language approaches that fail to teach phonics (which was an important part of my reading instruction).
  • Equally foundational is the association of reading with love. It can be the closeness of read aloud times with a parent or caregiver, sometimes learning the words of favorite stories. It is finding stories children love to read, sometimes with multiple readings.
  • It’s talking about stories, fostering critical thinking skills. This can be fun and discussions may be memorable!
  • It seems that learning how to read texts that are not “fun” is important. It’s more than just slogging through. It’s identifying what body of knowledge a text is addressing, what questions it is trying to answer, and then looking for how the writer unpacks those ideas.
  • I’m also struck by the fact that audio-visual culture might be an ally rather than an enemy. Book-Tok has been hugely influential in driving the sale of Young Adult fiction (this might be a good reason to save Tik-Tok!). I’d love to see media influencers exploring how they might encourage college-level reading skills among their followers.

I do think about how smartphone usage affects all of this–even for me as an inveterate reader. Perhaps this ought be a part of whatever passes for health instruction these days because of the far-reaching effects smartphones have on physical, mental, and reading health. Perhaps apps need to carry addictiveness and anti-social behavior ratings.

A final word here from the perspective of faith. Every faith has its sacred texts. The Abrahamic faiths are “people of the book.” God communicated God’s self in words that were written down on tablets, scrolls, and codices. Universities as centers of literacy arose from cathedral schools. In my own experience, I learned more about the close reading of texts, that I applied to great advantage in research papers, through the Bible studies I attended and led and Bible study methods I learned. I became a better reader of all books by learning to read the Bible well, having learned skills I wasn’t taught in school. Sadly, I hear little in most faith communities about fostering any sort of literacy, biblical or otherwise. There is a rich heritage here and a contribution to be made to our wider society that is at the heart of our faith.

The decline in reading ability in our universities ought to ring alarm bells. It would suggest a decline in many other areas–imagination. empathy and reasoned thought among them. It suggests systemic issues requiring thoughtful, evidence-based action. And it ought challenge all of us who love books and reading to think about how we might share that love winsomely and joyfully.

Review: Remembering America: A Voice From the Sixties

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Cover of Remembering America, by Richard N. Goodwin

Remembering America: A Voice From the Sixties, Richard N. Goodwin. HarperCollins (ISBN: 9780060972417) 1995.

Summary: A personal history of the 1960’s, written by an adviser to President’s Kennedy and Johnson.

Richard N. Goodwin was an adviser to Presidents Kennedy and Johnson and to the 1968 campaigns of Eugene McCarthy and Bobby Kennedy. This personal history/memoir offers his insider perspective to some of the most important events of the 1960’s from the hopes of the Great Society to the tragedy of Vietnam and the retreat from a vision of what America could be.

Goodwin begins with his studies at Harvard law and his clerkship with Justice Felix Frankfurter. We see a young man with a promising legal future drawn to politics, beginning with the quiz show investigations of the late 50’s, giving him his first connections with the Kennedys, leading to becoming a speechwriter for Kennedy as he ran for president.

He was awarded with an appointment as Deputy-Secretary for Inter-American Affairs. He describes the development of the Alliance For Progress, including his contribution to its naming, and the tremendous hope it raised for America’s relationship with Central and South American countries. A conference of leaders ends with an off-the-record meeting with Che Guevara, who asks him to convey his thanks for the Bay of Pigs debacle and for how it solidified Castro’s support in the country. He narrates the growing engagement with civil rights and social programs, tragically cut short in Dallas.

He describes being recruited from a backwater job with the Peace Corps to be a speechwriter for Lyndon Johnson and his work on some of Johnson’s most famous speeches on voting rights and the Great Society, and the exhilaration of Johnson’s breathtaking vision and political savvy in enacting legislation. And then Vietnam and the dawning realization that it could not be won, that the dream of the Great Society was going down the drain, and his own judgement that Johnson was becoming increasingly unstable, leading to his decision to leave his position for a series of academic jobs and writing gigs, while becoming more vocal in his own opposition to the war.

He chronicles Bobby Kennedy’s indecision about entering the 1968 race, and his own to join the McCarthy campaign because McCarthy was the only one campaigning on his opposition to the war. He takes us inside the army of youth who were “clean for Gene” in New Hampshire, achieving a near victory in New Hampshire and beating Johnson in Wisconsin, leading to Johnson’s withdrawal from the race. Then Kennedy jumped in, and because of the longstanding friendship, Goodwin joined the campaign, which rapidly gained steam until that fateful night of his victory in the California primary, that ended on a hotel hallway floor.

Goodwin captures the sense of these years, at least for a “brief shining moment,” that America could realize its dreams of liberty and justice for all, a society where all would flourish and poverty be banished, and that America could lift other nations as she lifted herself. He also captures a growing sadness that pervades the latter part of the book as that dream vanishes.

Richard N. Goodwin was the late husband of Doris Kearns Goodwin, one of my favorite historians. Her new An Unfinished Love Story: A Personal History of the 1960s is on my “to read” list, as it appears to weave together this story, that of her husband, and the treasure trove of documents from these years, a story only partially rendered in Remembering America–one they reflected upon together in his last years.

Review: Chastity and the Soul

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Cover of "Chastity and the Soul" by Ronald Rolheiser

Chastity and the Soul: You Are Holy Ground, Ronald Rolheiser. Paraclete Press (ISBN: 9781640609471) 2024.

Summary: An exploration of the meaning of chastity which has to do with far more than sex.

“Can purity be a word that is ever used without a cringe?”

Father Ronald Rolheiser quotes Lisbeth During asking this question in her book, The Chastity Plot. Rolheiser, in this book that explores the meaning of chastity in Christian teaching, would most emphatically and joyfully answer “yes!” And that despite all the negative connotations, critiques of “purity culture,” and the connotations of prudishness and repressed sexuality with which the culture greets this word.

First of all, Rolheiser defines chastity, and it is clear from his definition that he is talking about far more than sex:

“In essence, chastity is proper reverence, respect, and patience. And in a culture that is often characterized by irreverence, disrespect, and impatience, it is much needed. To be chaste is to experience people, things, places, entertainment, the phases of life, life’s opportunities, and sex, in a way that does not violate them or us. In brief, I am chaste when I relate to others in a way that does not violate their moral, psychological, emotional, sexual, or aesthetic contours. I am chaste when I do not let irreverence or impatience denigrate what is a gift, and when I let life, others, and sex, unfold according to their proper dictates” (p. 4)

But why chastity? It comes down to our understanding of what we and other people are. Rolheiser, using the language of Moses’ burning bush encounter with God says that both we and every person we encounter is holy ground. Any approach that is irreverent, impatient, or that fails to respect the holy character of every human in the image of God is unchaste. I can see how this relates not only to sex but with how we engage with people in any shared endeavor. To disregard the gift of another, to force our way without accounting for another, is unchaste.

Chastity and sex need each other and are not at war with each other. Chastity protects us from misusing the power of our sexuality so that both people may fully be themselves with each other. Chastity, properly understood, doesn’t shut off sexual longing for the other that springs from the God-given reality that it is not good for us to be alone.

Rolheiser challenges those who would separate sex and the soul or even deny the soul. He sees this as the underlying basis for the explosion of “hookup sex” and the explosion of pornography. Yet we all have a sense that deep down, there is a place precious to us, that carries our deepest longings, our sense of self. and in sexual intimacy, we give another access to that place. It’s a place where we want to be protected, honored, and listened to. “Chastity protects the soul.”

Rolheiser goes on to explore the effects of pornography, addresses how we live in tension with our “inconsummation” and how we may learn from Mary and the virgin daughter of Jephthah. He is honest with us that celibacy has been the hardest part of his vows, “but, at the same time, it has helped create a special kind of entry into the world and into other’s lives that is a precious grace….”

He concludes the book with speaking of our need to recover a sense of wonder about our ordinary lives, which in Chesterton’s words involves learning “to look at things familiar until they look unfamiliar again.” It is chastity that protects the wonder of the holy ground that is another human being, the wonder of the holy ground that is us, and the wonder when two who have prepared in the patience of chastity and in the integrity of their vows for the divine fire of sexual intimacy.

This is a book that takes the “cringe” out of chastity. It’s not the mawkishness of chastity rings, of rules especially imposed on women in purity culture. Chastity is not about the evilness or dirtiness of sex but about its powerful goodness and about the holiness of every person in God’s image and ensuring that the powerful goodness never violates the holiness of us or others. This is good instruction not only for those awakening to their sexuality but for us at all ages, and not only for our sexuality but for all the ways we engage with people who are “holy ground.”

____________________

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher for review.

Growing Up in Working Class Youngstown — Petty Officer, 2nd Class Bruce Arthur Manton

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Picture of Bruce Arthur Manton

I grew up in Youngstown watching the Vietnam War on the evening news. Meanwhile, young men from Youngstown were serving, fighting and dying in Vietnam. The war was unpopular, and sadly, we took it out on the returning soldiers, who, living or dead, did not always receive the honor they deserve. Each year, on Memorial Day, I remember one of those who died, representing the sixty-four from Youngstown who made the ultimate sacrifice.

Until May of 1967, North Vietnamese troops used the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) between the countries as a sanctuary and staging area for attacks into the South, assuming they would be safe for attack. That changed on May 18 when Marines, along with South Vietnamese troops were sent in to clear the DMZ of North Vietnamese troops in what was called “Operation Hickory.” They succeeded in heavy fighting with the largest death toll up to this point in the war, 337 Americans killed.

One of those Americans was Bruce Arthur Manton, of Youngstown. He was a Navy hospital corpsman, Petty Officer 2nd Class assigned to the 3rd Battalion of the 9th Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division and they were engaged in combat in Quang Tri Province. He was fatally wounded on May 20, 1967 while treating wounded servicemen during “Operation Hickory.”

Bruce Arthur Manton was born November 22, 1945 in Berea, Ohio. He and his family moved to Youngstown around 1960 when his father, a Methodist pastor became pastor of Belmont Methodist Church. He graduated from The Rayen School where he he sang in the boys octet and chorus. He was active in his church and a district officer of the Methodist Youth Fellowship. Upon graduation, he enrolled at Ohio Wesleyan University but interrupted his studies after his sophomore year to enlist in the Navy in May 1965.

After basic training at Great Lakes, he went to Bethesda Naval Hospital, and then on to Camp LeJeune for further training as a hospital corpsman. He arrived in Vietnam in August of 1966.

Petty Officer Manton was awarded the National Defense, Vietnam Service, and Vietnam Campaign medals as well as being awarded the Purple Heart posthumously. His name appears on the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall on Panel 20E Line 63. He gave his life saving the lives of others.

Rayen classmate Harry Kidd, who suggested this article, wrote this about Bruce Manton on the Wall of Faces:

FRIEND, CLASSMATE AND FELLOW NAVY VETERAN

Bruce and I attended the same high school – The Rayen School, Class of 1963. He and I separately both joined the Navy and are Vietnam Vets. I was lucky enough to come home. Bruce was remembered his fellow classmates at our class reunions.

Who do you remember this Memorial Day?

WE REMEMBER.

Other servicemen remembered in this series:

Lance Corporal Charles F. Azara, Jr.

SP4 Robert Thomas Callan

SP4 Patrick Michael Hagerty

To read other posts in the Growing Up in Working Class Youngstown series, just click “On Youngstown.” Enjoy!

Review: Humility and Hospitality

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Cover image of "Humility and Hospitality" edited by Naaman Wood and Sean Connable

Humility and Hospitality, Naaman Wood and Sean Connable, editors. Integratio Press (ISBN: 9780999146354), 2022.

Summary: Conference papers responding to a proposal that the virtues necessary for civility are humility and hospitality, particularly considering the qualifications that may be placed on this idea.

There have been many calls for a recovery of civility in our public discourse, and not least, in our universities. In the summer of 2017 Spring Arbor College sponsored the Forum 4:15 Unconference to consider the conditions necessary for civility. This was in the wake of several recent books by Richard Mouwm, Tim Muehlhoff, and Os Guinness putting forth their own proposals for how Christians might pursue civility in the public square.

The book is organized around a keynote presentation by Calvin L. Troup followed by a series of responses “interrogating” his proposal. Troup began by exploring the temptations and conditions that hinder civility and then proposed that the two Augustinian virtues of humility and hospitality are necessary conditions that underlie civility.

The responses that followed explored the nuances to considers and the problems that may occur with this proposal.

Mark A.E. Williams argues that not only are these Augustinian virtues necessary, but an understanding of Augustinian substance. In a world in which no one believes in substance, it is hard to reach agreement on what justice or civility is.

Michelle Shockness, writing from a social work background, observes that hospitality is an interaction that may be tainted by “Empire” in way that make host-guest relationships oppressive if the work of guests is not honored, if guests cannot say “no” and if the relationship cannot function with fluidity.

Susangeline Y. Patrick builds on this idea in missiology, proposing American Christianity needs to embrace a reverse and covenantal theology, where the recipient culture also hosts and all embrace a covenantal hospitality between God, people, and the land.

Naaman Wood also writes on this idea and the damages of colonialism and a recent denunciation of the doctrine of discovery. In North America, hospitality as a prelude to civility must take into consider the founding violence of those who colonized the land.

Jaime Harris considers the inhospitable character of churches toward LGBTQ+ persons, claiming that they, the churches, are the persecuted ones, while rejecting this persecuted minority. Too often, incivility has been useful.

Annalee R. Ward and Mary K. Bryant raise the question of the virtue of integrity and how it may challenge civility, using as a case study, the Barmen Declaration of 1934, which spoke against the Christian nationalism of Germany under Hitler and the complicity of the national church. Integrity reminds us that humility and hospitality cannot assent to everything.

Mark Allan Steiner, noting both the lack of trust of evangelicals in American culture and the Constantinian tendencies in their political engagement, argues that suffering, and not just humility and hospitality, must be embraced, using efforts for racial justice as a model.

John B. Hatch, in the concluding response, strikes a similar note in calling for the humility of prophetic lament, the acceptance of persecution, and the eschewing of attempts to grab at power rather than the uncritical support in recent years of Donald Trump.

This collection of essays certainly explores well the challenges of practicing civility with the diverse constituencies that make up our diverse landscape with one large exception. I do not find any discussion of how one practices civility toward the many conservative people who make up the country, as well as the many disaffected from working class and some ethnic communities attracted by the politics of Trump. While the “Unconference” participants ably dissected Troup’s proposal, it felt like preaching to a progressive choir. There was no similar critique of over-reaching contemporary liberalism, and the ways the lack of humility and hospitality in these quarters may be amended.

In sum, I think the basic proposal of humility and hospitality to help mend our frayed civility one worthy of consideration but the character of the responses appears to have given up on the exercise of these virtues among the population drawn to the politics of our former (and perhaps future) president. I think we must wrestle with the question Jesus raises in Matthew 5:46: “If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?”

____________________

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher for review.

Real Men Read

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Image of a man reading
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I often feel myself an outlier. Very simple. I am a male. And I read. Perhaps because I work in the university world, I do know a number of men who read. But in the wider society, not so much.

My Facebook page is a case in point. Of my 85,000 plus followers, only 29% are men and 71% women. Now 29% is nearly 25,000 and so it is hardly the case that no men are reading. Likewise, when I look for images of people reading to post, they probably run 10 to 1 in favor of women. Try finding images of BIPOC persons and it is even harder.

More women have read a book in the last year. Women read more books. And in a shift, women authors are dominating publishing, which was not always the case. Nearly every one of the celebrity book clubs and influencers I can think of are women. Levar Burton and James Patterson are the only ones who come to mind as male book influencers…and maybe Barack Obama and Bill Gates when they post about what they are reading.

I say kudos to the women! The last thing I want is for women to step back so men can step ahead. Rather, I simply want men to step up and read and be reading influencers. I hope in a small way that I am doing that myself. Here’s a few reasons:

  1. Read for yourself. Sitting down with a book, even a Jack Reacher novel or a Tom Clancy thriller reminds you of worlds beyond your own and people courageously meeting troubles that dwarf your own.
  2. Sharpen the sword. All of us need to keep learning to stay nimble in our rapidly changing world. There are a variety of ways to do that but reading is still one of the best.
  3. Understanding our times. Our society faces a variety of complex challenges, many too great to leave to our politicians alone. We need a knowledgeable, engaged citizenry who can dig beneath “talking points” to real solutions.
  4. For the sake of our children, especially for our sons, who take many of their cues from us. Part of it is reading with both our sons and daughters. Not only can reading together create warm, joyous family times, but they create rich memories for both us and our children. Also, being seen reading, as well as doing all the more physically active things from tossing a football to building a piece of furniture to loading the dishwasher says real men do all these things–and many more–but that reading is a part of it.
  5. Have more interesting things to talk about with your spouse or partner. Nuff said!

I hear men complain that bookstores seem to feature books more oriented toward women. There may be a grain of truth in that, simply because bookstores configure themselves to who buys the books! If that bothers you, ask a bookseller to help you find books that you like. Any good one will love such request and the more men make that request and buy books, the more that may balance out.

This is actually a good time of the year to start in places that celebrate Father’s Day. Many stores will feature books that they’ve found make good gifts for men. So men, this is a good time to treat yourself. And those with men in their lives–husbands, fathers, sons, grandfathers–this is a good time to look for gifts. And the more that happens, the more stores will sell books for both genders.

I realize as I write that I have suggested a fairly gendered view of books–books women prefer and those men prefer. I think there are many books that may appeal to both–for example Louise Penny’s Gamache stories. As a guy, I want to be like Gamache (and I suspect many women wish they were married to him!). My mother loved Tom Clancy novels and introduced me to them! But many genres favor one over the other. Romance is read, in one statistic, by 84% women to 16% men. I think this variety is good and that people should read what they like, not what they “should.”

So one piece of advice if you are thinking of buying a book for dad this Father’s Day, buy him something he will like, not something you think he “should” read. What are his interests? And if he has read, what did he like? Your bookseller will be glad to help you find that right book. Just don’t wait until the Saturday before!

Review: The Secret Lives of Booksellers and Librarians

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Cover image of "The Secret Lives of Booksellers and Librarians by James Patterson and Matt Evers

The Secret Lives of Booksellers and Librarians, James Patterson and Matt Eversmann. Little, Brown, and Company (ISBN: 9780316567534), 2024.

Summary: A collection of first-person accounts from booksellers and librarians about why they love doing what they do.

“I want to make sure people keep getting books they want, books they like. I call it Book Joy, matching people with books that will bring them the most happiness.” –Kelly Moore

Kelly Moore is just one of the many booksellers and librarians who contributed first-person accounts of their love of working with books to this delightful book compiled by James Patterson and Matt Eversmann. In case you didn’t know, Patterson is not only a hugely successful and prolific writer of thrillers, he is a huge fan of booksellers and librarians–those who get books into the hands of readers. He’s given generous support to literacy efforts and grants to independent booksellers.

Here he lets them tell the story of why they love what they do. Kelly’s statement captures a common theme–connecting people with books they love. Some of their greatest joy comes when they help reluctant readers find books they love, turning them, degree by degree into readers. Part of the work is careful listening, picking up the cues that signal what a person may like. And sometimes it involves being a detective, using the few clues a patron or customer can offer to help them find that book they are looking for.

The other big theme is that these people love books and reading. It is so much more than checking out books or ringing up sales. They enjoy talking books, sharing something they’ve read that someone else may like. A friend of mine who is a bookseller is mystified by people who think they can be booksellers without loving books.

Perhaps this needs to be so because it is a challenging life. Both librarians and booksellers have a variety of administrative tasks that allow them to do what they love, from reading publications on new releases to select what they think their patrons will like, to unpacking and shelving, tracking sales and inventory and scheduling events. It’s awesome to meet authors at booksignings but there is a lot of setup to make it work for everyone.

Some started young, working as a page or a clerk and eventually managing a department of a library or owning a store. Others describe mid-career changes, often when a job was lost. Many had always been readers and even dreamed of pursuing working in a library or bookselling and realized they could no longer wait.

There was one serious note, which was the growing number of efforts to remove books from libraries that a small group deemed objectionable. It meant a job loss for one writer and courageous stands for others. One thing was clear, when communities heard and protested, this was often decisive.

Have you ever wondered what it is like to work in a library or a bookstore? This book will give you a good picture of both the joy and the work. If nothing else, it should give you an appreciation for what a special breed any dedicated bookseller or librarian is. If you haven’t noticed, this book is a good education. And if you have, this book will serve as a good reminder to find ways to support and appreciate their work. There are book deserts. if you are not in one, thank the people who make that possible and support their efforts to sustain their presence!

Review: End the Stalemate

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Cover image of "end the Stalemate" by Tim Muehlhoff and Sean McDowell

End the Stalemate, Sean McDowell and Tim Muehlhoff. Tyndale Elevate (ISBN: 9781496481153), 2024.

Summary: Addresses how we move past impasses around disagreements to have meaningful conversations.

Our highly polarized cultural atmosphere has led to the breakdown of civil discourse, a rancorous political atmosphere, and sadly, friends and family who no longer talk to each other. It has led to a situation where many do not feel free to share their opinions in their families, workplaces, or in public discussions. It just doesn’t feel safe.

The authors of this book are both engaged in dialogue with those with whom they would disagree, including at times, each other! Sean McDowell, a professor of apologetics, frequently engages in discussions and debates with those who do not agree with his reasons for believing. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication who directs the Winsome Communication Project. Both host podcasts focused on conversations with those who differ on important questions. This book, to which each have contributed chapters focuses on how we may both prepare to engage with those with whom we differ and how we may have those conversations in ways leading at very least to civil disagreement and perhaps growing mutual understanding.

They begin by contrasting a transmission versus ritual view of communication. The transmission view has problems with myside bias that doesn’t reckon with counterarguments and often leaves everyone more entrenched. The ritual view looks for points of commonality where there is an emotional connection, sympathy, with the views of another. This requires understanding the way both we and those we engage with see the world. The writers describe this as bricolage, because often worldview is pieced together from disparate pieces into a whole that makes sense to the person, whether or not consistent. Some of the pieces include our communities, families, hinge moments in our lives, narrative injuries that may have altered our lives and beliefs, and influencers. The goal of understanding as much of this as possible is perspective-taking, where we try to see the world as the person we are engaging does.

All this lays the groundwork for constructive conversations. How then do we have these conversations? One basic principle Sean McDowell uses is: “Show as much grace and charity as you can without violating your conscience.” He believes one has to approach issues with clarity (what it actually is), charity, and critically. But many conversations approached this way still explode because we aren’t ready emotionally, the physical environment is not right, we are not intellectually prepared, and perhaps most important, there is not relational trust.

Tim Muehlhoff says there are actually three conversations. The pre-conversation focuses on getting our hearts in the right place by discerning our snap judgements, cultivating curiosity about the convictions of the other party, and recognizing the power of the words we choose. In the actual conversation he encourages inviting the other to share their perspective first, summarize their main points where they feel heard and understood, acknowledge where there is common ground and ask for clarification. The post-conversation is how we describe it to our friends–how we speak about people privately will be reflected in how we treat them publicly. One of our challenges of talking about others is we often present strawman versions of their arguments rather than “steelman” versions. They even suggest roleplays of arguing the strongest case of the other side. This, I thought, was one of the most valuable ideas of the work, and something we should be prepared to do if we have been attentive to perspective-taking.

One of the other things the authors do is model engaging over differences in questioning each other about their different views of using preferred pronouns. The discussion itself is illuminating, no matter how you approach this and they both model grace and conviction while differing. Then in the final chapter, they put it all together, offering checklists as one prepare for difficult conversations.

Part of what is winsome in this presentation is that the authors share their own failures and convey that, while we will fail at times, there is real hope for meaningful dialogue across differences, where friendships are forged rather than alienated, where understanding grows alongside respect. With a fraught election season approaching, it is a good time for this book.

____________________

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher for review.

Review: From Broken Boy to Mended Man

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Cover image of "From Broken Boy to Mended Man" by Patrick Morley.

From Broken Boy to Mended Man, Patrick Morley. Tyndale Momentum (ISBN: 9781496479860) 2024.

Summary: The author takes us through his own journey of healing childhood wounds and leads through a process of reflection to identify childhood wounds, the ways they manifest in destructive behaviors, to finding healing and to shift perspective toward parents, other adults and one’s own children.

Patrick Morley, leader of an effective ministry with men called Man in the Mirror discovered something was off in his own life. His mother died of cancer when he was 53. And he felt nothing. This led him to seek counseling which revealed wounds in his life from his childhood. He was never hugged, told he was loved, or that his parents were proud of him. And so he washed his hands of them. But those experiences of abandonment turned up in unexpected and unhealthy ways in his own work marriage and parenting. As the old saying goes, “Hurt people hurt people.”

Morley believes healing of these wounds is possible, leading to changes in how we relate to those closest to us–and in some instances, even with those who inflicted the wounds. In this book, written primarily for an audience of other men, he guides through a process of unraveling childhood wounds, of healing, and breaking the cycle. The book is designed as a text one interacts with, with short chapters interspersed with reflection exercises and concluding reflection and discussion sections. This makes it ideal for working through with a supportive group of men. It’s not meant to replace therapy, which the author sought out in his own life but as a helpful adjunct to that process.

In the first part, Morley describes his own process, calling the outcome both healing of wounds and “walking with a limp,” but with joy. He explores the different ways parents wound and naming wounds. Often, the out-of-character or disproportionate ways we react as adults point to the wounds of childhood. He spends two chapters on naming wounds, things like “you are oversensitive and often misread what people intend” or “you can’t get rid of the negative voices in your head.”

Part two explores the process of healing. He walks people through stages of healing. Overcoming denial and facing the truth of how one has suffered. Grieving what one lost or missed out on and working toward acceptance. Rethinking the stories of one’s parents and forgiving–hurt often passes from generation to generation until the cycle is broken. Making amends for what we have done without accepting responsibility for another’s abusive behavior. Working to rehabilitate the relationship where possible (he offers very helpful guidelines for when this is appropriate) and setting boundaries against further wounding.

Part three is about breaking the cycle. Here, he returns to face honestly the fact that healing may or may not be totally. We may walk. Our pain may be less. But we may limp–we may always struggle with abandonment or other wounds. But we may know the joy of God’s strength in our brokenness, like kintsugi pottery, where cracks are repaired with gold. We own the ways we’ve weaponized our wounds with spouses and children, sincerely apologizing for the wrong we’ve done. We learn to husband and father from a healed and loving heart that affirms the great worth and unique gifts of those we love. Finally, we realize that there are other men facing similar childhood wounds and walk as “wounded healers” among these wounded men.

I appreciate how Patrick Morley models this throughout this book, transparently sharing his own wounds, the ways he has inflicted pain, and his own process of healing. As noted earlier, the book is of greatest benefit if one does and discusses the reflection exercises with a group of men. Morley taps into something often overlooked in a culture that highlights men’s failures. That is that there are a number of men who want to be better colleagues, husbands, and fathers yet are a mystery to themselves as they engage in self-defeating behaviors that connect back to childhood wounds. Morley offers a path toward unraveling the ways men are mysteries to themselves and toward healing and transformed relationships. He avoids traps of self-pity or bitterness as he coaches men in how they may exercise both agency and self-care in their healing process.

Morley debated how public to make his own journey. Yet by doing so, he has offered hope and a pathway for others who harbor within a “broken boy.”

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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher for review.

Growing Up in Working Class Youngstown — Henry K. Wick

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A few weeks ago, I wrote about Henry Wick, noting the challenge of keeping the various Wicks straight, particularly when Henry had a cousin, Henry Kirtland, or H.K. Wick. Henry K. was born August 31, 1840, the son of Col. Caleb B. and Maria Wick. He had eight siblings plus a brother who died in infancy and two half siblings. His education was exclusively in the Youngstown schools. At sixteen, in 1856, he began working as a clerk at the Mahoning National Bank.

Like Henry, H.K pursued a number of business interests including a process of planishing iron, producing sheets with a high polish. He owned a mill near Niles the grew into a large concern which he sold to a group led by James Ward. He also had timber and mining interests as well as serving as a director for the P., Y., and A Railroad and for the Youngstown Dry Goods Company. He was also the first president of Republic Rubber. But his big interest was coal, essential for the growing iron and steel industry. and from 1869 on focused major efforts on the coal industry, forming the H.K. Coal Company, one of the leading coal companies in the country, making him a multi-millionaire. The business interests extended far and wide and some of the largest were headquartered in Buffalo.

He was known as a gregarious man who loved to entertain. In the early 1880’s, he and his brother Caleb built what was known as the Wick Log Cabin in what was then the wooded area that eventually became the Wick Park district.

Wick Log Cabin from an 1889 photograph.

H.K. married twice. He married Clara Wells in 1886. She passed in 1899. He then married Millicent Rathbone Clark in 1900, moving first to a stately home on Wick Avenue and later building a lavish estate, named Ainwick, on Logan Avenue in Liberty Township. It took four years to build, being completed in 1914. A seven page spread appeared in the February 22, 1914 edition of the Vindicator, including the photograph below.

H.K. Wick helped found the Memorial Presbyterian Church and the Mahoning Institute of Art, a predecessor of the Butler.

Sadly, H.K. did not get to enjoy his Ainwick home for very long. He had struggled with failing health but felt well enough to visit his Buffalo headquarters in March of 1916. He became ill upon arrival on a Tuesday. By Saturday, it was clear he was fighting a serious case of pneumonia and Mrs. Wick rushed to be at his side. He died on March 22, 1916, three months to the day after his cousin Henry’s death from the same cause. He was transported to Youngstown and is buried at Oak Hill Cemetery, as are many of the Wicks. Millicent lived until 1953 but the couple had no children.

It is my understanding that the Ursuline nuns came into possession of the house and estate, eventually selling it off for development, resulting in the demolition of the mansion. What a loss, both architecturally, and as visible evidence of the life of H.K. Wick.

To read other posts in the Growing Up in Working Class Youngstown series, just click “On Youngstown.” Enjoy!