The Book of Susan, Melanie K. Hutsell. Brewster, MA: Paraclete Press, 2022.

Summary: A woman who seems to have it all, a successful husband, beautiful son, and tenure-track position begins to struggle with apprehensions about another woman who has come into her circle, visions apparently from God, anger and the inability to focus. As life unravels, she is diagnosed with a bipolar disorder and begins a long journey of discovery.

Dr. Susan Huffman seems to have it all together. A successful and esteemed husband, Sam, who is a chancery court judge, a beautiful son and a tenure-track position at a local college. She’s risen from humble beginnings in Clemtown. She has a wonderful circle of friends who have delightful dinner parties.

And then Lorraine comes. She joins the music making and upstages Susan and everyone else with her banjo. She shows effusive attention to Ian, Susan’s son, even giving him a stuffed animal, which becomes his favorite Lammykin. Susan perceives her as a threat to their circle. She starts keeping a journal. She has visions and undergoes a kind of spiritual awakening. But nothing dampens her suspicion of Lorraine who “just wants to be her friend.” There is a blow-up at a dinner party. Increasingly Susan seems to disconnect, sometimes unable to function, sometimes distracted. Then comes her blow-up with Ian as her husband walks in.

Susan knows something is not right and takes the first steps to get help. She sees a doctor who prescribes medication that doesn’t help. Then she sees a counselor, decides to take a leave from her faculty position, and finally sees a psychiatrist who diagnoses her as bipolar. Yet it seems too little, too late and she learns her husband is filing for divorce and custody of Ian. The rock bottom.

She returns to her home town and begins a journey of discovery. There is a kind of going back to move forward. The second half of the book describes not only how she came to terms with her illness through treatment, the kindness of the community, and even a fellow bipolar sufferer who connects her with a support group. Since spirituality was part of her descent into madness, she struggles with both wanting to believe and pray, and the knowledge that this was part of her descent.

Melanie T. Hutsell, the author, has lived inside this story as someone who has been diagnosed with a bipolar disorder for fifteen years. She helps us see how hard for someone with such a disorder to separate illness and reality (in fact, Susan had reason to be apprehensive of Lorraine). She traces the tortuous onset, the awakening to the fact that something is not right with oneself, and the long journey of therapy, care, and self-understanding that is part of the journey anyone with this condition must face. Through Susan, she helps us discover the power of “declaring membership in the fellowship of the flawed.”

In the end, I found myself wondering if the truly “deficient” one was Susan’s husband Sam, who could not tolerate the less-than-perfect marriage, and the uncertainty of the long road to healing for Susan. Perhaps Sam, having seen so much in chancery court, could not face the risk of a condition that wouldn’t get better. Melanie Hutsell does not back away from the reality that not all marriages survive the mental illness of a spouse. What she does is offer a sensitive, probing story of one who faced a bipolar disorder, a story with both loss and the hope, that even with a difficult condition, one may grow and find one’s place.

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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary review copy of this book from the publisher.