Discworld

Review: Guards! Guards!

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Guards! Guards! (Discworld 8)

Guards! Guards! (Discworld, 8), Terry Pratchett. HarperCollins (ISBN: 9780063373761) 2024, first published in 1989.

Summary: When a secret society summons a dragon to get rid of Ankh-Morpork’s Patrician, the Night Watch gains a new sense of purpose.

Carrot Ironfoundersson is an orphan raised by dwarfish parents. But he’s human, even though he has tried to fit into the society of the dwarves. So they send him off to become a guard in the Night Watch. He’s a strapping young man with high ideals who has learned the laws of Ankh-Morpork. But his idealism is quickly put to the test. The Night Watch consists of just two officers and Captain Vimes. They have reduced the job to announcing all is well and avoiding trouble, as well as copious drinking.

Meanwhile. a secret criminal society has plotted to replace the Patrician, who runs Ankh-Morpork with a figurehead they can control. To do so, they have stolen a book from the library of the Unseen University, incensing its orangutan Librarian, who goes to the Night Watch. The book is about summoning dragons. The first hint of the secret society’s success comes when some criminals go up in smoke, leaving a pile of ashes. Captain Vimes connects these events to the theft of the book, concluding a dragon is on the loose. So he consults Ankh-Morpork’s resident expert on dragons, Lady Ramkin. She raises swam dragons, a miniature form. She even bestows the runt of the litter, Errol on the Captain. Errol proceeds to eat everything in sight.

But the big dragon is wreaking extreme havoc on the city and the Patrician asks his neglected Guards for help. But help comes in the form of a young champion, who gestures to do battle with the dragon and, poof, it is gone. They lock up the Patrician while they prepare to crown the champion as king. But Captain Vimes is suspicious. Dragons don’t just go poof. As it turns out, the conspirators are poor wizards and leave a way for the dragon to return. And it does with a vengeance. It makes itself king and demands a hoard.

The Night Watch, once lackluster, now has a renewed purpose. And Carrot’s idealism gradually infects the others. But how does one defeat a dragon when the odds are a million to one against them? It turns out those are the right odds. And Errol, the odd little swamp dragon plays a starring roll.

And the moral of the story: don’t summon dragons unless you are very sure of what you are doing and read all the instructions!

Review: Pyramids

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Pyramids

Pyramids (Discworld, 7) Terry Pratchett. HarperCollins (ISBN: 9780063393332) 2025, first published 1989.

Summary: Prince Teppic, having completed Assassins training, returns to be Pharoah of Djelibeybi, ordering the building of a huge pyramid.

Rather than cool his heels in Djelibeybi (pronounced like Jelly Baby), Prince Teppic goes to Ankh-Morpork to enroll in assassins training in the Assassins Guild. It’s a seven-year course few survived but if he did, he could bring a lucrative income into an impoverished kingdom that spent all its money on pyramids to house it’s dead kings. It was a practice that had drained the kingdom of money and, as readers will learn, of other things as well. Once it was a great kingdom. But now it is a narrow buffer along a river valley, serving as a buffer between two rival nations.

Just as he survives and passes his final exam, Teppic senses his father, the Pharoah had died. Indeed that is the case. On returning, Teppic suddenly finds himself a Pharoah and a god, responsible for the sunrise each day. New to all this, he is advised by the venerable high priest, Dios. However, he soon discovers that Dios really runs the show, when Dios twists all his novel ideas into the established traditions.

Nowhere is this more true than in the burial of his father. He has to be entombed in a pyramid. Teppic happens to know this is not what his father would have wanted (as the old king’s spirit tries to make known). In frustration, Teppic finally orders them to build the biggest pyramid ever, double the usual size.

Little does he realize the forces he has unleashed. Pyramids are objects of power. The others flared every night. No one has ever tried to build one this big. When Ptaclusp and his sons, the pyramid builders try to do this, they discover that workers and money and materials are the least of their problems as strange forces build up to a cataclysm.

But before that happens, Teppic, Ptraci, the old king’s handmaiden, and a camel with hidden powers, escape. Looking back, they see the kingdom vanish into a mere crack in the ground. Suddenly, nothing stands between the rival kingdoms which prepare to go to war.

Meanwhile, Djelibeybi still exists, just in another dimension. But all kind of craziness has ensued, beyond even Dios’ powers, which in fact are considerable. The dead kings walk the realm, as do the gods whose existence they usually ignored and disbelieved.

Will Teppic act to save his kingdom? Or will he take the opportunity to ride off with the pretty and scantily clad handmaiden into the sunset? I’ll leave it to you to find out.

Once again, this is a Terry Pratchett romp between fantasy and satire, showing religion at its silliest while making us ask, what would happen if the gods really showed up? And all those pyramids? Pratchett leaves us to wonder if the real Pharaohs would equally have hated the idea. And perhaps it all was just a poke at the silliness of “pyramid power”!

Review: Wyrd Sisters

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Cover image "Wyrd Sisters" by Terry Pratchett

Wyrd Sisters

Wyrd Sisters (Discworld, 6) Terry Pratchett. Harper Paperbacks (ISBN: 9780063385559) 2024 (first published in 1988)

Summary: Three witches living in Lancre hide the king’s heir when the king’s assassinated by Duke Felmet, and work to set things right.

Granny Weatherwax, the senior of three witches in Lancre confronts a most unusual situation. A horseman delivers a child and a crown into her hands. King Verence of Lancre has been assassinated by his cousin, Duke Felmet at the behest of his cruel wife. She gathers her sister witches, Nanny Ogg, mother of a slew of kids, and Magrat, the youngest, still enamored with the conventions of witchcraft–cauldrons, jewelry and covens. Most of the time, they help villagers with what ails them. This is not most of the time.

First, what to do with the child, named Tomjon. A company of traveling actors agree to take him and he is raised by Vitoller, who becomes a father to him. Eventually, he will become a gifted actor. The crown is secreted among the props.

The more immediately vexing problem is what to do about Lancre. The land is in trouble as forests are cut down, village burned and people disappeared. The duchess is behind much of it. And as she realizes the danger the witches pose, she and Felmet mount a disinformation campaign to discredit them before the people.

The problem is twofold. One is that they cannot use their power directly against Felmet. The other is having to wait fifteen years until the Tomjon is of age. In the meantime, how much more will Felmet do and at what cost to Lancre? If only they could sidestep time…

Two others play a role. One is dead King Verence, whose ghost escapes the castle, ending up with Nanny Ogg. The other is the Fool, who becomes attracted to Magrat. He also becomes the means of bringing Tomjon back to Lancre. He contacts the company, know based at the Dysk Theatre in Ankh-Morpork. (One of the fun thinks in this book is to note all the Shakespearean allusions.) Hwel, the company’s playwright, accepts a commission for a play to “re-write” Felmet’s history for the people.

This is the least “hither and yon” of the books so far. Most of the action, apart from the troupe’s journey back to Lancre, is in Lancre itself. The maneuverings of the three witches make up for that.

There are some fun turns at the end. But most enjoyable throughout are the interactions between the witches, a parody of the three witches in Macbeth. If there is any lesson, it is knowing when to bend the rules and by how much. Granny and Nanny write the book, very different from the one Magrat consults.

A fascinating story of using soft power to defeat tyranny.

Review: Sourcery

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Cover image of "Sourcery" by Terry Pratchett

Sourcery

Sourcery (Discworld, 5; Rincewind, 3) Terry Pratchett. HarperCollins (ISBN 9780063373709) 2024 (First published in 1988).

Summary: A sourcerer takes over the Unseen University and wreaks havoc on Discworld, and only Rincewind will try to stop him.

Sourcery once nearly destroyed Discworld. Wizards are the eighth sons of eighth sons. Therefore, wizards cannot marry. Problem solved. But one wizard, Ipslore, defied the ban and was cast out of the Unseen University. Then his wife bore him eight sons. To further complicate things, as he is dying, he cheats Death by pouring all his power into his staff and giving it to Coin, his infant eighth son. Coin is a born sourcerer. He doesn’t learn magic, he is a source of it. And he is impelled through the staff by his vengeful father. Hence the great and deadly power of this sourcerer.

Fast forward eight years. The wizards are about to install a new Archchancellor. But something strange is happening. All the rats and vermin are fleeing the Unseen University. All the books of spells in the library are restless. Rincewind, never powerful but the consummate survivor, decides they know something. He and the Luggage go to his favorite watering hole. And its a good thing. Coin shows up in the Great Hall after murdering the Archchancellor-elect. Coin claims his office. And it is fatal to challenge him, as several who try find out. But the hat of the Archchancellor is nowhere to be found.

That’s because Conina, the daughter of Cohen the Barbarian has absconded with it. She finds Rincewind and convinces him that it is a good time to make himself scarce in Ankh-Morpork. And a good thing too. Coin’s power greatly amplifies that of all the wizards. They remake the city. Coin turns its ruler into a newt.

Conina leads them to Al-Khali, where she believes there is one fit to wear the hat. Meanwhile, bands of wizards have taken over and “remade” vast parts of Discworld. He burns down the library (although the librarian saves the books!). But this doesn’t satisfy Coin. The gods still hold sway. So Coin captures the gods in a sphere, not realizing the havoc the gods hold back.

When the wizards overthrow Al-Khali despite the hat, Rincewind realizes he may be the only one who can stop Coin. But how? He is the least powerful of wizards. Nevertheless, he returns to Ankh-Morpork on a borrowed magic carpet. But the only weapon he can muster is a sock with half a brick in it. Not promising, but as we know, Rincewind has cheated Death before. But this “David” is up against a huge “Goliath.”

The wizards are often a silly, ineffectual body. By contrast, the power of sourcery seems capable of great things. But, as Lord Acton observed, “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Apparently, this applies in Discworld as well as our own.

Review: Mort

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Cover image of "Mort" by Terry Pratchett

Mort

Mort (Discworld, Number 4, Death, Number 1), Terry Pratchett. Harper Paperbacks (ISBN: 9780063393233) 2025 (first published in 1987)

Summary: Mort is apprenticed to Death, who collects dying souls. Mort messes up the timeline when he saves a princess, killing her assassin.

In Discworld, you do not want to meet Death. As you may recall from earlier installments, Rincewind spent much of his time eluding Death. Because Death comes to collect souls of people when they die and to set them onto their destiny in the afterworld. He has bit parts in previous Discworlds. This is his first as a significant character, and this is the first of several of the Death series within Discworld.

But the title character is really the main character here, even if he must constantly remind people of his name. Mort is the teenage son of a farmer who doesn’t want to farm. So, his father takes him to town on the day various tradesmen choose apprentices. But no one wants him. That is, no one wants him except for Death, who comes just shy of closing. The irony, if you know any French, is that mort is the French word for death.

He goes to the home of Death. Two others live there. Ysabell is Death’s daughter by adoption. The other is Death’s ancient manservant, Albert. Ysabell takes a decided disliking to Mort, despite Death’s efforts to promote their companionship

Part of his apprenticeship is to accompany Death to collect souls. He quickly learns he is not to meddle with the fatal destinies of people when he attempts to prevent the assassination of the king of Sto Lat. He learns that theirs is not to decide the time of death or prevent it, but to assist the deceased. But he does not learn this well-enough, and Death, tired of the work and wanting a change, quickly turns over collecting duties to Mort.

One of those he is assigned to collect is the daughter of the assassinated king. A rival Duke is going to kill her. Instead of allowing Princess Keli’s death, he kills the Duke. But he doesn’t reckon with altered timelines. People act as if the Princess is dead, even when she tries to interact with them. She hires the wizard Igneous Cutwell, who can see her, to promote her existence and arrange her coronation. She wants to live and wants to be Queen.

But there is another problem. The real timeline is swallowing up the alternate one. Cutwell can’t stop it but is trying to get her crowned, even if briefly. Meanwhile Mort, as he seeks a solution discovers there may be more to Albert than meets the eye. And he and Ysabell team up. Meanwhile, Death is AWOL, enjoying life as a short order cook.

If you’ve not read this, I will leave it to you to discover how this all works out, as well as if anyone learns to remember Mort’s name. What is most interesting to me is that by and large, the figure of the Grim Reaper is a character without character. Pratchett gives him one, and even gives him a midlife crisis! And since Mort is such an interesting character, I hope he turns up again!

Review: Equal Rites

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Equal Rites

Equal Rites (Discworld Number 3), Terry Pratchett. Harper (ISBN: 9780063385542) 2024 (first published in 1987).

Summary: A dying wizard gives Eskarina his staff by mistake and she wants to become a wizard despite no girl ever having been a wizard.

The wizard Drum Billet is dying. Wizards can only pass their staff, and powers, to the eighth son of an eighth son.. He hears of one about to be born in the village of Bad Ass and goes there. Upon the child’s birth, Drum Billet gives bestows his staff. Only afterward does he discover the child is a girl. He cannot withdraw the staff. But no girl has ever become a wizard. Admission to the Unseen University, where wizards receive training is not permitted for girls.

The staff is hidden away. Yet when it is evident that Eskarina has some kind of power, Granny Weatherwax, the local witch mentors her, trying to divert her thoughts of wizardry into the perfectly good role of village witch. While she’s a good student, it is evident that Granny can’t help her control the power upon her. It dawns on Granny that it is time to challenge the division of witches and wizard by sex Specifically, Eskarina’s power requires the training of wizards.

So, they set out on a journey to Ankh-Morpork to enroll in the Unseen University. On the way, she meets Simon, an apprentice wizard, also seeking entrance to the Unseen University. He gains entrance and quickly proves his talent for translating the universe into numbers. Those in charge reject Esk. Called on to demonstrate her power, she cannot. But the resourceful Granny finds a “backdoor.” She enters as a servant, using her powers to complete tasks, giving her time to study in the library. Soon she and Simon connect, leading to an adventure to rescue Simon’s mind from the Dungeon Dimensions that will bring wizards and witches together.

Pratchett shows how ridiculous gender-based barriers are in the facetious rationalizations the wizards give for banning girls. In Eskarina, we witness the struggle between calling and convention. And in Granny Weatherwax, Pratchett gives us a delightful character–crotchety and resourceful. I look forward to seeing how Pratchett will develop them in future numbers.