Humor

Reading When We “Shouldn’t”

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Photo by Tim Samuel on Pexels.com

Have you ever tried to read when you really shouldn’t have? It is so tempting, especially when we are in the middle of a good book, or have something we need to read before an imminent meeting, to try to read and do something else, sometimes in situations where this might be a very bad idea.

I asked the Bob on Books Facebook page about this and discovered there are a number of instances where this might occur. The instance pictured above was surprisingly common. Almost everyone who mentioned this said they gave this up long ago. I hope so–probably just as dangerous as texting or even looking at your cell phone. I can think of a few instances I tried it on a long boring stretch of road. I really couldn’t focus on what I was reading. So I gave it up. I want to read books when I can enjoy them.

I was surprised how many read during classes–something other than the textbook. There is the book inside book trick (ideal for comics) or the book in your lap approach. Sadly, some felt so ignored by the teacher that this was how they coped.

Then there was the forbidden reading–those “adult” books that we snuck into our rooms. As an adolescent boy curious about sex, I got an education of sorts reading a number of Ian Fleming books until dad caught me and the books ended in the trash can. Another wrote about reading her mother’s hidden copy of Forever Amber back in 1950!

Of course, nearly all of us dedicated bibliophiles were accomplished at reading under the covers in bed with a flashlight! When a flashlight wasn’t available, one person captured fireflies in a mason jar and read by the light of them under the covers. Some of us still stay up all night reading a page turner only to pay for it the next day.

Then there is the creative multi-tasking reader. One was so caught up with a book that he read a book while showering by holding the book outside the shower. Another tried to do this while proctoring a test. One was reading while their flight was leaving (presumably without them) and another during her labor (I mean, what do you do between contractions?).

The funniest stories were those where the person got busted. Of course, sooner or later most teachers caught us with books inside of books or on our laps. A few even let us do it if we got our work done and got good grades. Then there were those who gave us more work or had us write a book report on the book we were reading. Then there was the guy who read while waiting to bat in baseball practice and ended up doing a lot of running. Or the doctor who got pretty angry when his patient (8 years old) started reading after retinal surgery. Sometimes we bust ourselves, particularly if we try reading while walking and trip or walk into walls or light posts.

Sometimes we really ought to be doing something else–hosting a party, listening to a sermon, washing dishes, running a die cast and trim press, or just listening to our son. We readers are an incorrigible bunch. For many of us, our books are the introvert’s refuge. For some of us, the worlds created by an author are preferable to the hum-drum of our lives.

The point of this post is not to tell other adults what they should or shouldn’t do in terms of reading habits, other than I’m pretty persuaded that reading and driving are a bad combination. What I have personally come to is that books, at least good ones, like good friends, don’t deserve to be multi-tasked. They yield their greatest benefits when we give them our full attention–whether to amuse or instruct. But as long as no one is hurt, I have to admit that the stories of reading when we “shouldn’t” can be pretty fun–and if you are a reader, you have them! I know I do!

Review: You Can Keep That to Yourself

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You Can Keep That To Yourself, Adam Smyer. New York: Akashic Books, 2020

Summary: A humorous and pointed list of “things not to say” to Black friends or colleagues.

“HELLO, WELL-INTENTIONED PERSON OF PALLOR!

“It’s Daquan–the black coworker you are referring to when you claim to have black friends.

“You are reading this book because you want to know what not to say. They get mad at you when you say the wrong thing. But no one will tell you, up front, what not to say. Well, I will tell you. Because I am your friend. Your real black friend.” (p. 7)

Adam “Daquan” Smyer more than delivers on that promise in a book that made me alternately laugh and cringe (“I’ve said that–ouch!”). The book is literally a list of things not to say to Black people, organized alphabetically. Here is the first:

Ally

Well-intentioned people of pallor went seamlessly from not seeing color to being allies. Being part of the problem was never considered. And, really, “ally” was fine for a while. It was aspirational. But now “I’m an ally” is the “Don’t hurt me” of our time. Don’t nobody want you, Karen. You can keep that to yourself.

Smyer, p. 10-11

Smyer can be blunt and use vulgarities. But that has become commonplace both in publications and public discussions. Think for example of the reference of one president to “sh*thole countries.” I’ve heard most of what Smyer says even in informal Christian circles. I’m not keen on this trend but I wouldn’t let the language distract from the message of the book, which it actually underscores, of the simmering frustration engendered by the repeated insensitivities of “people of pallor” And if you think this is just being “over-sensitive,” that’s in the list as well:

Over-sensitive

Y’all snap after you have been unpopular for two weeks. I’ve been black my whole life. In America. And I’m at least functional. I’m oversensitive? The record reflects otherwise.

Smyer, p. 67.

As for one of my cringes?

Yowza!

It’s weird–one minute we are having a normal conversation, and the next you are blurting out a minstrel show catchphrase. Verbal blackface.

So inappropriate! But mostly just weird. A thought: you could not.

Smyer, p. 111.

I did not know that. Now I do. I will not.

So much comes down to being considerate–to trying to imagine being in another’s place. When it comes to being Black, I cannot. But I can listen to how I am being heard by a Black person. That’s what Smyer does for us here. He says what is often only thought when we say what we people of pallor should keep to ourselves.

So what do we talk about?

There is so much that you can say. If we are at work, you can talk about work. (It really would be great if you could only talk to us about work, but we understand that you don’t know where you are.) You can talk about weather and/or sports. You can talk about your favorite shows. You can even talk about current events if your family raised you properly.

Smyer, 121.

This is a quick read that might be worth a periodic review. Old habits die hard. And it is probably worthwhile learning that we don’t have to say all we think or want to say. The truth is, black people have been doing that for a long time.

________________________________

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary advance review copy of this book from the publisher through LibraryThing’s Early Reviewer program. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

Where Have You Gone, Tom Magliozzi?

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“Tom Magliozzi” by Unknown – Original publication: It was published on NPR blogs.Immediate source: http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2014/11/03/361190483/fans-and-colleagues-remember-car-talk-host-tom-magliozzi. Licensed under Fair use of copyrighted material in the context of Tom and Ray Magliozzi via Wikipedia

Actually, I have no idea of the answer to this question and won’t presume to guess the eternal destiny of one-half of the “Car Talk” dynasty. Rather, I was improvising on the old Simon and Garfunkel song Mrs. Robinson and its plaintive question, “Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio?/A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.” When many of us learned yesterday of Magliozzi’s passing, I think we realized we had lost someone special, a kind of national treasure. In the midst of all the acerbic dialogue between various contentious factions arguing online or over the airwaves, we could tune in every Saturday morning and listen to Tom and his brother Ray make us laugh over something as prosaic, but often more consequential to our daily lives, as car problems.

NPR has continued to re-broadcast old programs of “Car Talk” so we will be able to laugh and remember for awhile longer the special gift Tom and his brother Ray gave us. They not only gave us good car advice but the model of two human beings who thoroughly enjoyed both their work and each other. They also modeled two very intelligent guys doing something often thought “beneath” the intelligentsia–repairing cars. Both were MIT graduates and had careers in industry and teaching before opening their car repair shop in Cambridge.

As I reflected on Tom’s passing, I thought about how rare was the kind of humor they practiced as they bantered with each other and callers. They could poke fun without attacking the dignity of others. The humor was witty and reflected their intelligence. It was not vicious and attacking, nor was it coarse. And it gave a human face to stodgy NPR.

Car problems can be serious things–costly and dangerous. Somehow, these guys managed to talk about that without ever taking themselves seriously or fear-mongering. It makes me think about how many other matters of our national discourse could use a dose of this.

I also am grateful for the model of really intelligent guys who were never pretentious about their intelligence and who dignified working with your hands and getting them dirty. Instead of accentuating class differences, they bridged them and brought us together every Saturday around “puzzlers”, car problems, and the enjoyment of their creative “program credits” at the end of each show (we actually saw the offices of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe on a visit to Harvard Square!).

We lost a kind of national treasure yesterday, one who stood for intelligent and rollicking good humor, bridging the social divides we love to create, and the dignity of work well done. Hopefully our reflections on what we’ve lost will also challenge us with what we need to preserve.