Reading and Introverts

July 27, 2023August 30, 2025 / rtrube54 / Leave a comment

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“Books — helping introverts avoid conversations since 1454.” (Quote from a meme, source unknown)

I’ve been thinking about the stereotype that most readers are introverts. It’s one that I think I became aware of in Susan Cain’s Quiet. In both the book and her TED talk video on the power of introverts, she talks about going off to camp with a duffle bag full of books and being surprised when that was not the idea of being at camp shared by the other girls. (Here is the video if you have not seen it.)

I can identify with Susan Cain. Even as an adult at business meetings, I find I have to squirrel away at some point and retreat to my books. Fitting the character of introverts, interacting with lots of people exhausts me and being alone with a book recharges me. It’s said that introverts don’t get ready for a party; they gather strength for a party. That would be me.

But is a love of reading exclusively an introvert characteristic? I’m not sure and I have not found any scientific studies of the matter. Anecdotally, I sense that many of the people who visit my Bob on Books Facebook page are introverts. One of the memes I posted recently that “blew up” showed a girl with glasses reading in what looks like a library with the statement “I was the kid that was actually excited when the teacher told us to read silently.” Over 54,000 have liked it with over 1.4 thousand leaving comments, all in sympathy with that idea. Typically, I’ll get ten to one hundred comments and several hundred likes. This struck a cord. There are plainly enough of us out there to justify the stereotype.

But I think part of the issue is that introverts and extroverts who read engage with reading differently, and we don’t hear about the extrovert part as much (as least as introverts).

Introverts feel recharged when they have a long time to read. Extroverts just need a short time with an interesting book.
Introverts enjoy thinking about a book. Extroverts enjoy talking about a book.
Introverts think of a good book as a conversation with the author. Extroverts think of good books sparking conversations with others.
Introverts don’t like external stimuli when reading. Extroverts don’t mind the stimuli–if the book is good it keeps your attention and if not, the breaks are good.
Introverts don’t want to read something because “everyone is reading it.” Extroverts like a popular book because it helps start conversations.

I realize these are generalizations and may not apply to all. But this gives you the sense that the two types are wired differently in their reading habits (for more on this, visit “Are You an Introverted or Extroverted Reader?” from which these contrasts were drawn). But extroverts can be readers. Oprah Winfrey is an outstanding example, sharing her love of reading with millions.

Nevertheless, reading lends itself to introverts. Some studies indicate that introverts and extroverts experience sound differently. No wonder the quiet of reading is restorative! Introverts like to focus on the inner world of their thoughts. Reading allows us to do that, but in a quiet conversation with other minds that also draws us out of ourselves, which can be healthy. Stories allow us to step out of ourselves and see things from another perspective, which may afford us fresh insights for the situations we inhabit in real life. Sometimes, introverts struggle to put into words with others what we are experiencing in our inner worlds. Books may give us those words, those “Aha” moments where we find someone giving voice to the inchoate within us.

The differences between introverts and extroverts do suggest some important things for helping us be both better readers and better humans. One is that we need to be sure to include reflection time for introverts when they read. Writing reviews, and the reflective thought that goes into that is important to me. For extroverts, making sure there are opportunties to talk about books is important. We also need to respect the different ways we read–how long we like to read, what we like to read, and the settings in which we talk with others about what we are reading. Maybe this is why introverts sometimes have a hard time sharing their love of reading with extroverts. We come to reading looking for different things and what interests me may be a non-starter for others.

The other thing about appreciating difference? Sometimes when we understand and respect differences, our worlds are enlarged. Others see things we do not, and our reflectiveness as introverts, when shared, may enrich the world of others and not just our own. Vive la difference!

Review: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking

February 20, 2014February 20, 2014 / rtrube54 / 3 Comments

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

It is funny how someone speaking softly but with conviction can change a conversation. Susan Cain has done just that with her bestselling Quiet. The book is about the unique gift, the “quiet power”, introverts bring to the world, particularly American culture, which places a premium on extroverted behavior–group work, public charisma, being the life of the party. And this is important as she argues because one-third to one-half of all people are introverts. Cain is not arguing that we suddenly coddle introverts or that being extroverted is bad. Rather, she paints a compelling picture of what happens when introverts and extroverts can appreciate each other’s temperament and gifts. Her examples of this include Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King, Jr and Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt.

She introduces the book with a compelling narrative of her work with a young Wall Street lawyer and the negotiation she faced in terror that turned out with her being offered a job by opposing counsel. During the negotiation “Laura” turned to her “quiet power” and through persistent questions and proposal carried the day against her extroverted, brazen opposite. “Laura”, it turns out is our author.

The first part of the book focuses on the American extrovert ideal. Cain traces the history of this ideal and what she calls “the new Groupthink” and its manifestations in education, business, and even the church (she visits Saddleback Church at one point observing that it was “all communication” with no chance for reflection).

In the second part of the book, she turns to the research on temperament and argues that introverts are actually different in their sensitivity to stimuli, in how their brains process dopamine, and more. This is the most technical part of the book but Cain livens this up through first person interviews and illustrative stories including that of Franklin and Eleanor, and the contrast between the “Masters of the Universe” on Wall Street and Warren Buffett. At the same time, she avoids a “biology is destiny” argument. Introverts can push the boundaries of their temperament in things like public speaking when it is for causes and purposes they care for deeply.

Part three is the shortest section, just one chapter, in which she proposes that all cultures do not share our extrovert ideals. Working in a university context with many Asian-Americans, I found this of interest because she suggests that the Asian ideal is different and that all the group discussions in our classrooms and the extroverted character of much of campus life poses real strains for many Asian-Americans. Part of the strain is the pull to deny one’s own cultural heritage and temperament, thinking the American is “better”.

Part four focuses on how introverts may constructively engage an extrovert world–when to act more extroverted than you are, how to talk to the opposite type and how to raise children who are introverted. Most enlightening to me was the idea of not “throwing them in the deep” when they fear something, but gradually and safely introducing them to new things. I’ve know introverts who received the former treatment in childhood who still carry painful memories of these experiences.

Perhaps it is part of her lawyerly training, but Cain writes with clarity, building a compelling argument in a quiet voice, with nothing extra. What I most appreciate, in contrast to some I’ve read on this topic, is that Cain does not come off “whiny” or with an entitlement mentality. She makes her case for cherishing the gift introverts bring to the world without downplaying the gifts of others. Her plea is one that plays not on guilt manipulation but the recognition of a tremendous opportunity to recognize what introverts add to our families, our organizations, and our world.

View all my reviews

Is Extroversion a Virtue?

February 13, 2014August 27, 2025 / rtrube54 / 8 Comments

That’s a question posed in Susan Cain’s Quiet. Along with that comes the corresponding question: is introversion a sin? It is interesting that the context in which this arises is Cain’s visit to Saddleback Church, at the suggestion of Adam McHugh, author of Introverts in the Church. True, no one says either that being an extrovert is virtuous, or that the introverted are sinners or somehow spiritually lacking. Rather, all this is inferred from the ethos of the worship experience-enthusiastic singing, jumbo-tron images, greeting neighbors, lengthy messages. As McHugh and Cain discussed the experience, one of their observations was that it was all about non-stop communication. There was no quiet, no silence, no reflection. None of this was a criticism of the message of Saddleback, or by extension of the evangelical movement. Rather, it was the case that for those who don’t like big crowds, lots of socializing, and who need times of reflection or even aloneness, that the implicit message was that there must be something wrong with you.

Cain would contend that this is a part of a larger cultural trend that seems to celebrate the charismatic extrovert–whether in religion, politics, sports, business, or the media. It is not that she has it out for extroverts, or for extrovert-driven churches. Rather, her contention is that extroverts and introverts are wired differently and that each has a unique contribution to bring. She opens her book with the example of introverted Rosa Parks, whose quiet civil disobedience launched the Civil Rights movement that was greatly enhanced by partnership with extrovert Martin Luther King, Jr, whose preaching and leadership gave meaning and direction to the resistance she began.

My wife and I have spent our adult lives around evangelical sub-culture, and for the most part I would agree with Cain’s characterization. What has often struck both of us is that the church unwittingly tries to turn us into extroverts rather than tries to understand the gift that our introversion brings. In Cain’s much watched TED talk, she observes how many of the great religious leaders from Moses to Jesus to others like Muhammad and the Buddha all spoke out of their wilderness experiences. She movingly describes her rabbi grandfather, a shy, gentle introvert with an apartment full of books who brought to his weekly messages at synagogue a depth of insight and wisdom that shaped a religious community. A breath of life to us in recent years is to have a fellow introvert for a pastor. His sensitivity, his reflectiveness, his love of study and insightfulness into both his own journey and others brings strikingly fresh insights from our scriptures for our lives.

What is the gift that introverts bring the church, and to society? In various forms, it is often a creativity that comes out being someone who listens, observes and reflects. Introverts may bring perspective, inventiveness, and artistry into what is needed, what is missing, out of their times alone. One thing that isn’t understood about introverts is that they actually value community and want to contribute. But often they speak quietly and are not the first to speak. Often, to be heard in a culture of extroverts means to press uncomfortably into conversations where the quick response in word and action is the currency of the day. Sometimes, we need quick responses and actions. But sometimes we also need the considered response and care-full action that comes out of reflection. What might happen if we have more partnerships like Parks and King, or Steve Wozniak and Steve Jobs? What could it mean for our churches and other institutions to welcome the gifts that both extroverts and introverts bring? What would it mean to create spaces at work and worship that allow for both sociality and solitude?

Perhaps that is worthy both quiet reflection and considered discussion.