I’m reading a book right now titled The Easy Burden of Pleasing God. The writer’s contention is that the message of the Bible is not that the spiritual life is a “heavier” or more burdensome life, but one with lighter burdens, not more. It is interesting though because the writer also spends a good part of the book talking about how we (especially some of us church folk) add to each other’s burdens. I don’t think this is an affliction exclusive to church people. Parents make life tougher for their children by unrealistic expectations, and children make life tougher by creating all sorts of worrisome situations for the parents. We likewise do this in our workplaces–think of needless meetings and protocols for which there are no rational explanation.

A former colleague once began a talk she was giving with the simple statement that “life is hard.” It is variously attributed that Philo, Plato, or even Scottish theologian John Watson said, “Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” My point today is not a sentimental reflection on being kind, but to ask, given the burdens we all carry, why do we make life harder for each other?

My hunch is that it has something to do with the inadequacies we feel in carrying our own burdens. In our tiredness, or our frustration at how poorly we are doing, we try to foist these onto others. Or, if we perceive that others have burdened our lives with things like rules that we don’t want to carry, we create burdens for them as a kind of payback, In the church world, it often seems that our own sense that we are not “doing enough” means that we try to get each other to do more, even when we all are already working at breakneck pace.

Eugene Peterson, in his paraphrase of Matthew 11:28-30 writes, “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion. Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me–watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly” (The Message). Jesus is speaking here and it seems his invitation is to stop trying to manage our own burdens but to share them with him and let him show us how to live life. My hunch is that when we live there, we not only enjoy freedom and lightness, even where life is hard, but we stop making life so hard for others.

Why do you think we often add to others burdens? And what helps you live freely and lightly?