Man Up

Man Up, Cynthia Miller-Idriss. Princeton University Press (ISBN: 9780691257549) 2025.

Summary: The relationship of misogyny to various forms of violent extremism, the strategies men use to control women, and what can be done.

What are two factors associated with most incidents of violent extremism? The first is that men perpetrate most incidents. The second, and even less discussed, is that most of the men are misogynist in outlook and behavior. In fact, 60 percent of the mass shooters in the U.S. have documented histories of domestic or intimate partner violence. Cynthia Miller-Idriss studies violent extremism as founding director and chief vision officer of American University’s Polarization and Extremism Research and Innovation Lab (PERIL). Yet she acknowledges discussions of violent extremism has been virtually silent about these two factors. And she admits she has been slow to come to this realization and the writing of this book.

Miller-Idriss sees misogyny not as a personal belief but a means of social policing, “a kind of control [that] defends and maintains patriarchy and the continued subordination of women and the dominance of men.” She includes in misogyny various forms of homophobic and transphobic behaviors.

After discussing misogyny and its link to various forms of violent extremism, the author offers five case studies that reflect strategies of control. She focuses a chapter on each of these:

• Containment or the use of belittling remarks and dehumanizing work to keep women in their place.
• Punishment, that is violent misogyny as articulated by incels, men’s rights, and male supremacist movements.
• Exploitation, such as the #SaveTheChildren conspiracy, that both fuels violence and covers the real exploitation of women in domestic violence and human trafficking.
• Erasure asserts traditional gendered supremacy through anti-LGBTQ+ efforts (“Don’t Say Gay”), cultivating fears about “grooming.”
• Enabling, in which women join in supporting patriarchy and policing women, exemplified in “The White Baby Challenge.”

The final part of the book focuses on remedies. Apart from a good resource section at the end, I thought this the most disappointing part of the book. Part of the challenge is how mainstream misogynistic views are in the culture. The most substantive recommendation is modeling healthy masculinity with boys, neither preaching to nor shaming them (especially by women). Rather, she commends mentoring by teachers, coaches, and other adults. This part could have used more stories showing what has worked.

Additionally, while describing the manifestations and rise of misogynistic behaviors, the book doesn’t offer an account of the social factors contributing to misogyny. Also, the writer repeatedly discusses so many forms of misogyny and violence that I felt the account sometimes lost focus while overwhelming the reader.

However, the work is important for several reasons. Firstly, in breaking the silence about the connection between misogyny and violent extremism, the analysis offers tools for intervention. Secondly, by outlining strategies used by men to control women, she names these, bringing them out of the shadows. Finally, though brief, the resources offered gesture toward countering mainstream misogyny while making clear the challenge our society faces.