Growing Up in Working Class Youngstown — New Year’s Resolutions

satterfield_cartoon_on_new_years_resolutions_1904It’s common practice to make New Year’s Resolutions, and even more common to break them. My hunch is that we are often not realistic about these things. But Youngstowners are more realistic than most, and here are some of the “realistic” resolutions I can see Youngstowners making.

  1. Instead of “lose weight” I can see a good Youngstowner resolving to “buy a better grade of steak.”
  2. Instead of “exercise more” I can see hard-working Youngstowners resolving to “take a nap when I get home from work.”
  3. Instead of wanting to “read more” the Youngstowner would resolve to “listen to an adventure thriller in my car on the way to the lake.”
  4. Instead of resolving to “meet new people,” the Youngstowner would decide to “stop running with the people who drag me down.”
  5. Instead of resolving to “earn more money,” the realistic Youngstowner would resolve to “not blow so much on the lottery.”
  6. Instead of “become more organized”, the practical Youngstowner resolves to “haul a dumpster up to the house and remove all the junk we are keeping in the spare bedroom and basement.”
  7. Instead of saying “go to the doctor more often” the health-conscious Youngstowner would resolve to “actually get a check up this year.”
  8. Instead of resolving to “spend less time on social media,” the Youngstowner resolves to “go for a hike in Mill Creek Park with a spouse or partner at least once a week and see the real world.”
  9. Instead of “volunteering with a charity,” the Youngstowner takes care of an ailing relative or looks after the home of an ailing neighbor. No resolutions needed–we are family.
  10. Instead of “reducing stress,” the well-adjusted Youngstowner resolves to “enjoy the best of Youngstown cooking with the best of family and friends.”

Those are some of the “realistic” resolutions I can imagine someone from Youngstown making. What would you add to the list?

Happy New Year!

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