Guards! Guards! (Discworld 8)

Guards! Guards! (Discworld, 8), Terry Pratchett. HarperCollins (ISBN: 9780063373761) 2024, first published in 1989.

Summary: When a secret society summons a dragon to get rid of Ankh-Morpork’s Patrician, the Night Watch gains a new sense of purpose.

Carrot Ironfoundersson is an orphan raised by dwarfish parents. But he’s human, even though he has tried to fit into the society of the dwarves. So they send him off to become a guard in the Night Watch. He’s a strapping young man with high ideals who has learned the laws of Ankh-Morpork. But his idealism is quickly put to the test. The Night Watch consists of just two officers and Captain Vimes. They have reduced the job to announcing all is well and avoiding trouble, as well as copious drinking.

Meanwhile. a secret criminal society has plotted to replace the Patrician, who runs Ankh-Morpork with a figurehead they can control. To do so, they have stolen a book from the library of the Unseen University, incensing its orangutan Librarian, who goes to the Night Watch. The book is about summoning dragons. The first hint of the secret society’s success comes when some criminals go up in smoke, leaving a pile of ashes. Captain Vimes connects these events to the theft of the book, concluding a dragon is on the loose. So he consults Ankh-Morpork’s resident expert on dragons, Lady Ramkin. She raises swam dragons, a miniature form. She even bestows the runt of the litter, Errol on the Captain. Errol proceeds to eat everything in sight.

But the big dragon is wreaking extreme havoc on the city and the Patrician asks his neglected Guards for help. But help comes in the form of a young champion, who gestures to do battle with the dragon and, poof, it is gone. They lock up the Patrician while they prepare to crown the champion as king. But Captain Vimes is suspicious. Dragons don’t just go poof. As it turns out, the conspirators are poor wizards and leave a way for the dragon to return. And it does with a vengeance. It makes itself king and demands a hoard.

The Night Watch, once lackluster, now has a renewed purpose. And Carrot’s idealism gradually infects the others. But how does one defeat a dragon when the odds are a million to one against them? It turns out those are the right odds. And Errol, the odd little swamp dragon plays a starring roll.

And the moral of the story: don’t summon dragons unless you are very sure of what you are doing and read all the instructions!