Review: Redeeming Sex

Redeeming SexRedeeming Sex, Debra Hirsch. Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 2015

Summary: Hirsch explores how the church ought engage society around issues of sexuality, discussing the connection of spirituality and sexuality, the nature of gender, orientation and our sexuality, and how the church holds in tension the image of God in people and the ethics of various sexual expressions.

We are in a paradoxical place where sexuality is both one of the easiest and hardest things to talk about, particularly in the church. There is lots of conversation, even argument, and yet often we struggle to talk deeply and thoughtfully and redemptively about one of the most basic aspects of what it means to be human. Debra Hirsch writes this book out of a life of dealing with these questions stretching back to her own experiences with lesbian relationships before coming to faith, to her work in pastoral ministry with her husband, caring for people with sexual histories, varying orientations and gender identities.

The book consists of three parts. The first explores the connection between sexuality and spirituality, and particularly our deep and basic longing for relationship. She opens this section asking provocatively, “Imagine if heaven was like endless orgasm” (p. 22). She goes on to explore how our sexuality is actually a signpost of how we were made for deep, intimate relationship with God. She sets out a distinction between genital sexuality and social sexuality–between physical sexual expression and the broader expression of our sexuality in all our relationships. She explores our fearfulness to talk about this basic and powerful part of our humanness and concludes this section by exploring the sexuality of the incarnate Jesus.

The second section explores the nature of our sexuality and what we are learning about orientation and gender identity. She deals honestly with the struggles we have to integrate following Christ and dealing with sexual desire (quoting, for example, one young man who asked, “I have accepted Jesus into my heart but how do I get him into my penis?”[p. 71]). She particularly observes that orientation and gender identity are not binary entities but much more of a continuum and discusses with stark candor the journeys of LGBT people who come to faith and whose orientation and identity do not “change”. She works through the biblical issues around sexuality, respecting those who reach various conclusions while affirming what would for many be a traditional understanding, with a non-traditional approach of “leading with embrace rather than theology”.

The third part of the book begins from this point and lays out an approach to meeting people in ministry that focuses first on the image of God in all persons and only secondarily around issues of sinfulness, that seeks to center on following and moving closer to Jesus, and builds communities that seeking to be welcoming and mutually transforming (rather than affirming). She believes that we need to welcome people in all their wholeness but that no community can affirm all the things people are or do. Rather, a community committed to growing closer to Christ together is mutually transformative.

Such community is messy. Where some may want to focus immediately on issues of orientation and identity, it may be that growing closer to Christ might entail other things first. Likewise, others may object that some choose celibacy or even embrace a heterosexual relationship after having identified as same sex attracted. What Hirsch contends for is that the redemption of our sexuality can only come with the redemption of our spiritual relationship as we experience the rich and costly grace of Christ. For that reason, she articulates an approach that leads with grace, embrace and affirmation of the image of God in all people, and that believes in the power of Jesus to lead people into all he intends for them. At the close of the book she comments on this observation by her husband:

” ‘You really are pushing grace to just about as far as you can take it.’ Which of course raises the question, How far does grace go? And at the end of the day that really is one of the fundamental questions we are all wrestling with” (p 208).

Whether you agree or not with how far Hirsch pushes grace, you will find that this book poses the questions and deals frankly the realities we must all wrestle with if we, as the church, are not to “duck and cover” in addressing the matters of spirituality and sexuality in our day.

4 thoughts on “Review: Redeeming Sex

  1. I am replying to this book review today because I feel that sex is the least understood and most ignored topic in the church and in our society today. Unfortunately, most of us only understand what sex is after we get married and not before. Most young Christian’s remain celibate out of their legalistic obedience to Christ if they remain celibate at all today. In its’ most basic form, sex is about pro-creation but the grander view sex is about sharing the joy of creating with our Savoir and God. Having come from a mother who was an artist and a father who was close to engineering and design; I have had the great opportunity to shape and change others lives for the better provided I did my job well. I would never trade my past career for anything. In married I now have the same opportunity to shape the lives of my wife, my step-daughter, and her children in a positive way provided that I do my job/role-in-life properly. Celibacy while I was single has placed me in the best position to do the above. This is why God asked me to be celibate. God understood that the high achieved form sexual intercourse is the equivalent of injecting crack cocaine and that sex electro-chemically/mentally binds me to the opposite sex in an equally powerful way. The later bind part can bind us to a sexual partner that we don’t really care for. He made us that why so that we could share and experience the rush of the creative experience and the intimacy of our spouse. This not only makes use one with our spouse but more understanding of him, God the Father; about his love for creating and how he has such great love for his creation.

    In contrast to this, my step-daughter decided that marriage was passé and love is just that electro-chemical high of intercourse. The end result is several children out of wed-lock, trying to stretch herself to the impossible limits of working to feed them while trying to care and shape their lives in a too short 24 hour day, and the juggling of several value/discipline systems that shape the lives of her children that come from the their fathers. It’s exhausting her and it’s exhausting to watch her life. She is starting to admit that Hollywood and the Country music stars where wrong and that Mom, God, and the church where right. I tell her one several things that the church isn’t telling her; one is that you where made to have sex, and the second is that having sex will always fill your mind. I tell her that God made all humans that way but it’s how we respond to these God given desires that makes it sin/destructive or one of life’s greatest experiences. When I was twenty or thirty something, I wish that my religious leaders would have told me this. It would have made celibacy more rewarding.

    • Dan, it is good to hear from you and you testimony to both a high view if sexuality and the church’s need to talk openly in casting an alternate vision of the beauty of this gift rather than teaching, as one friend put it, “what not to do and who not to do it with.” Your close challenges me because I was one of those leaders for you. I hope I do a better job of that these days.

  2. Pingback: The Rest of the Best 2015 | Bob on Books

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